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I've read throughout your thread. I know and understand what you're going.
The answers, unfortunately, to your questions of who you are and what you want, only YOU can supply. That being said, I'm going to make a couple of observations from the things you've said and though they might sound critical, they are meant only to point out certain things that you not be aware of in. It seems that you want to rely on someone to make you happy, whether you want to it a for or Married wife wants casual sex Pelham.
The truth is that only YOU can make yourself happy and other people can only be supplemental to that happiness once you've achieved it. In turn, Shageluk Alaska woman seeking sex you ARE happy, you can help others by supplementing their happiness with the things you can offer them through friendship or relationship.
I also noticed that you had one person you were seeing that is into and another that seems to be an alcoholic.
If this is the case, it is a self-destructive trait and you have to re-train yourself to seek out healthier relationships and until you can be confident that you can do this, you should NOT allow yourself a relationship. Have you ever said Looking for free sex web cam yourself or thought to yourself "I don't deserve to be happy"?
Or perhaps you've asked yourself "Why do I keep getting hurt? Again, I'm only pointing these possibilities out so that if they are true, your realization of them can help you to overcome.
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I went through a similar process myself years ago. Good luck.